Friendship Vs. True Friendship
“Good friends care for each other, close friends understand each other, but true friends stay forever. Beyond words, beyond distance & beyond time.”
~ Author Unknown
What do you think about the above statement? I think it’s true. When I think of the people in my life who I consider genuine friends, they are the ones who never left, the ones that are still here in my life today. Some of them are reading this. Some I met this year, some I met when I was a teenager, and most I’ve met since finding my “tribe” of other parents struggling with the same issues I had.
Interestingly enough - I’ve never met most of my true friends in person! I started blogging back in 2002 and became part of a close-knit community. Many of us are still in contact today. The care and concern we share wouldn’t be any stronger if we were close geographically. Friendship is about being there for someone, whether it’s in person, on the phone or in a message.
There are two people that were part of my daily life that I thought were true friends...but I was wrong. Friendship is a two-way street. If one of the two doesn’t stay in touch, it becomes a one-way street with a dead end. I felt hurt by this for a long time, but I am just as much to blame as they are.
Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of losing my precious Keven. I made it through the day thanks to friends - mine and Keven’s. I received comments and felt the love and concern. The bright spot in the day was a Zoom call between Therese, Ross, Andrew, Matt and me. Those three, plus a young man named Jesse, were and still are Keven’s closest friends. (Jesse stopped by the day before and Ross came over on Monday, Matt and Andrew live out of the area). Another friend (who I have never met in person...YET) sent us a lovely plant.
These four young men knew Keven from the time he was a kid - Ross and he met when they were 6 years old! They grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same schools, and are all still friends today. Ross, Andrew and Matt all went off to four-year colleges straight out of high school and Jesse went into business with his dad.
Although these guys loved Kev, it’s hard for anyone to be around someone that was deep into substance abuse. But they were there for him when he needed it, and attended his memorial service (Andrew was in New York but both his parents attended). Afterwards on that day they were the ones I wanted to be with - to hear the fun stories and relive silly memories of Keven, who was quite the goofball at times. I love these four men who I’ve known all these years. They’re spread out now and all doing extremely well in their lives.
When it comes down to it - life is about people. We’re all here on this planet, living our separate lives together. I’ve been accused of being unrealistic (which is true, my favorite song is “Imagine”), but if we all gave and received love to those in our lives consistently, who can deny that it would make a difference?
Keven felt alone, even though he wasn’t. Who in your life may be feeling alone today? Is there someone that you haven’t heard from recently? Maybe they’re just busy, but it never hurts to reach out and say “hey, how are you doing?”.
It’s the simple gestures in life that mean the most. My beautiful (inside and out) niece, Danielle, dropped by on her way home from work yesterday to bring us flowers and a meal - I hadn’t eaten all day and probably wouldn’t have but her kindness brought my appetite back - it was so thoughtful.
Oddly enough, I didn’t call or receive a call from Keven’s dad yesterday. We aren’t close and it’s awkward for him to talk about emotions. I know he loved Keven, that’s enough for me. We no longer have anything in common.
Take care and as always, thanks for reading. Oh - and please leave a comment. I’ve heard that sometimes comments don’t work, so it would help me out if you try to leave one and let me know if it doesn’t go through. Thanks!
P.S. The painting was done after Keven passed. The guys realized there wasn’t a picture of all of them together, so they had it made for Therese and I, it’s one of my most treasured possessions! From Left to right, Andrew, Ross, Matt and Kev.