The "F" Word


Heather and her mom, Cindy
Heather Marie Trott, 8/21/97 - 2/11/20

No, not that “F” word, I’m talking about is fentanyl. Fentynal is the most dangerous thing on the streets right now and is killing MORE people that heroin or any other form of opiate.

Some people (like Keven) choose to use it because they get a stronger high off of it after using heroin for years, and it’s cheaper. Most people don’t even know they are taking fentanyl because it’s added to other drugs, or made into pill form and sold as Xanax, meth, cocaine or whatever.


I'll be sharing about fentanyl from time to time and wrote this about it in my book:


"Today Fentanyl is the big killer for two reasons, 1) it takes such a small amount to overdose on it and 2) it’s added to pills without the buyer knowing – you may think you’re getting Xanax, cocaine, meth or straight heroin, but you’re really getting a pill laced with this deadly drug. In the case of heroin you think its ‘really good stuff” because its extra potent so go back to that same dealer for more.


Then there’s people like Keven who sought out fentanyl to get the affects he had when he first started using heroin.


What I can’t figure out is why dealers do this, they are killing off their customers. One theory is that it also gets them addicted faster and therefore creates more clients. Bottom line – the dealers don’t care, its all about the money for them.


I’ve heard many parents say that they would kill their child’s drug dealer if they had the chance. I understand that sentiment. Some of them are in it for just the money and deserve to be sent to prison for murder. Others are users, just like our kids, that turned to selling to support their habit.


There is an outcry among parents to crack down on the fentanyl dealers, mostly from parents who’ve already lost a child and want to prevent others from experiencing the same agony. Its infuriating to see the number of deaths keep rising. "


There are warrior mom's and dad's out there trying to get Fentanyl off the streets. One of them will be sharing her story soon.


I believe in the saying "a picture says a thousand words". I'm going to introduce you to Heather, the young woman pictured in this photo with her mother. She’s one of many we’ve lost because of this killer drug. The world is missing out because she’s no longer here.

I’ve asked Heather’s mom, Cindy, a friend I know from Solace for Hope, to share how her life has changed since losing her precious girl.

My life has changed drastically, especially with my close friends, boyfriend and colleagues. I have changed because grief changes you in so many ways. I look at life in a new way because I feel like when my daughter passed a part of me went with her. It’s very difficult to share your story with those close to you because they don’t know how to comfort you sometimes or how to say the right things. I know that you have to reinvent a new you.

What’s helped me with my grief is Solace for Hope. I wanted to carry on my beautiful daughter’s name. It helps to be part of an organization of parents who’ve lost a child (to drugs), or have someone who’s still using that needs support. We have three locations now. Having support from other parents who’ve walked in your shoes really helps, so does keeping yourself engaged in support groups and keeping busy.

I miss Heather so much it’s hard to put into words. What I miss the most is her calling me “Mama”. My favorite memories of her are how close we got just before she passed. We’d take trips together to court, just us. Heather was bright, intelligent and had the most contagious laugh. Because of her anxiety and addiction, she was taken way too soon.

Thank you, Cindy, for sharing Heather with us. And thank everyone for taking the time to read this. I know my blog can be hard to read, but I can’t apologize because I’m trying to help more people understand what’s happening all around us.


With each precious person we lose, parents, siblings, friends and relatives are left behind to live with the heartache. Something has to change.


There are warrior mom's and dad's out there trying to get Fentanyl off the streets. One of them will be sharing here soon.


In other news: I send my book to the editor next week on 8/25!


Yikes! It’s so scary yet exciting. Finding an editor was a task, I looked at over 100 before I hired Annie. She has excellent qualifications but what stood out to me the most is that she cares about the story.


My very ambitious goal is to have it released around Keven’s and Anthony’s birthdays, both in December. If not, early 2022.