Here Comes the Sun
Last week’s post was heavy. I realize in sharing my anguish over losing Keven, I’m painting a depressing picture of my life, I don’t want to give the impression of feeling that way most of the time. Please know that the darkness no longer consumes the majority of my existence.
The overwhelming feelings of grief have become moments of sorrow rather than, like in the the beginning, a constant presence. Some days are better than others but I always get through the dark to find the sunshine on the other side. You never get over this kind of loss but you learn how to get through it. We all do. We have no choice.
Writing helps process my feelings but I’m aware reading about my pain can be difficult and disturbing, especially for people who know me and care about me. I write straight from my heart and sometimes I’m tempted to downplay my true feelings; but then my writing would be inauthentic. You could say my life’s an open book (and I hope when my book is published you’ll open it!).
Here’s a small book excerpt on this topic:
The first few months after losing Keven was like living in a different dimension. From the outside, I looked the same, but my inner landscape vibrated with sadness and pain. In a way, it felt like I was underwater. Everything around me seemed blurry. I held my breath. It felt lonely and sad. People looked at me differently, they felt sorry for me, and didn't know what to say to me.
After the initial months passed, I felt myself resurface, take a full breath and see the blue sky again. Nothing magical happened, I didn’t have a new insight or revelation, I'd slowly learned to live with the new normal of my life.
I hope that as you realize that you are a huge part of my day-to-day healing, and I’m honored and grateful that you choose to walk this road with me. Thank you for being a part of my "new normal".
P.S. Tomorrow, June 11th, will be 10 months since Kev’s been gone. I can’t believe it’s been that long. It doesn’t seem possible to me.
Make yourself feel good right now by watching the 3 minute YouTube vid below of George Harrison and friends singing "Here Comes the Sun". If your a Fan of The Beatles, leave me a comment telling me your favorite - mine is John.
George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Elton John, Phil Collin, Jeff Lynne and Eric Clapton!!!!!